Last night, after a day of working from home, and a driving lesson, I decided to do something that scared me…go climbing alone. Despite my undying love/obsession for the sport, I had never actually gone to a wall by myself to boulder & auto belay alone. Climbing is primarily a partner sport so I’ve always gone with a partner or a group of friends. This summer, I did want to go alone but felt a bit awkward about it and what people might think if I showed up solo. But last night, I really fancied a climb. So, I went. I bit the bullet, hopped on the tube with my stuff and went to the wall. I did nearly chicken out when my sister rang me and asked if I wanted to come hang out at her flat instead (a mere 10 minutes away) and I thought about it, and decided that I had to go climb, to prove to myself that I could go alone and be okay with it.
So I did it.
I walked in, paid for my pass and went straight in and started climbing. I didn’t stop to wonder what others might think, I didn’t focus on anything except climbing for almost an hour (which is way tougher than when you go with a partner…no belay rest breaks when solo-ing) and it felt amazing. I felt like I was taking time for me. To do something I wanted to do. I have become so accustomed to only climbing when a partner is free and plans changing all the time etc so to just decide to go an hour before and then to go felt so liberating and wonderful. I loved it.
And it made me realise, that I really need to take myself on more of these solo adventures. I used to do it a lot at uni, and pre uni but since moving home, I haven’t really thought about it. I spend a fair bit of time alone at the moment, I live alone, I mostly work from home and so when I go out, it’s usually to see people socially (which is lovely) so maybe if I have spent all day alone, and no one’s free, I shouldn’t just resign myself to an evening at home, I should go do something for me that makes me happy whether that be climbing, taking myself out for lunch or going to a movie. Cause it’s only me that’s in charge of my happiness. I felt really empowered afterwards and happy to have done it.
So I’ve vowed to myself that I’ll go at least once a week whether with or without a partner and climb or I’ll do something for me.